By Isle of Wight Observer
It’s almost three years since my Dad died, but I sort of had him to stay over Easter.
The kids took out second mortgages for the ferries, and came too.
I can confirm those Robin Hill rumours are true; they’ve done a fantastic job up there. Wherever you look, the investment is evident, and they plan lots more cool stuff next winter. Congratulations to owners, John and Lee – Robin Hill’s back with a bang. The toboggan run’s still incredibly popular. In my case slightly spoiled by my 3-year-old granddaughter/driver ignoring the brake and insisting we go flat out for the entire descent.
Tapnell Farm was another big hit. It’s clear why they’re consistently successful with families.
Dad’s ashes are kept in a beautiful oak box; usually, he’s at home in his favourite chair, sat in front of the TV, keeping his wife company. She took an Easter break and, rather than leave him home alone, suggested I look after him. Do you remember when people thought it strange that Paula Yates had Michael Hutchen’s ashes sewn into her pillow? I thought it romantic.
My old Nan was almost 90 when she died in London. She’d constantly reminded us that she wished to be cremated at “Golders Green, with my Frank”.
Her specific instruction was to have her ashes scattered on what she believed was “Frank’s rose bush” in the crematorium gardens. All crematoria keep incredibly accurate records, but as many decades had passed since his, er, passing, she’d say, “I do know the first gust of wind blew him up
the M1.”
Choosing what happens to our loved ones’ cremated remains or ashes can be a challenge. Families often have very different ideas about what’s best. They still do get scattered at the crem, but if you opt to buy that rose bush or memorial, it can be expensive. Worse still, the rose bush or tablet usually needs ‘renewing’ later at further cost. Burying ashes in the local cemetery is another good option; they normally allow a tablet or mini-headstone with the person’s details and a brief message engraved.
Ashes jewellery is also popular now. They take a little bit of the grainy ash and turn it into polished coloured stone. The finished article can become a ring or worn around the neck, so you always carry a little piece of the person with you. Let’s be honest, that sounds far less painful than having a loved one’s name tattooed on your arm.
Rolling Stone Keith Richard claimed to have snorted his dad’s ashes – but they’re not soluble, so I wouldn’t recommend it. British Indians used to return their families’ ashes to their homeland; now they often take the easier (and cheaper) option and use local rivers or the sea.
Not everyone has a plan after cremation, so most funeral directors store hundreds of uncollected cremated remains. Some of ours are five, 10 and 20-or-more years old. We currently have a celebrity and a murder victim. One friend in the business has an Air Commodore who died in 1965.
There are a few reasons why anyone would do such a thing, the first being indecision. If there’s the slightest doubt about what’s best to do, families tend to do nothing.
Siblings can have differing views on what’s best, and sometimes there’s conflict. New widows can think it best to wait until their time comes too – they want the ashes mixed and reunited. Adding pet ashes at that point is also popular.
Unfortunately, ashes are all too easily forgotten and years become decades.
Thankfully, there’s now The Ashes Register, an archive that records the location of ashes around the globe. You can find them easily on Facebook – because no-one deserves to be left on an undertaker’s shelf, do they?