By Carole Dennett
Welcome to another thrilling episode of “What are they hiding now?” featuring the Isle of Wight’s favourite ferry operators, Red Funnel. This week we shall tiptoe carefully through a magical mystery tour of their financial wonderland.
Imagine you’re playing Monopoly and you decide to mortgage your neighbour’s house to fund your next big move. Well, that’s essentially what Red Funnel have done.
In February Red Funnel needed to borrow an extra £6 million – after all with all those cheap fares Island residents get it’s not surprising they were short of cash. After looking hard down the back of the sofa and finding a boiled sweet with no wrapper and £1.35 in change, they realised that to borrow these much-needed funds, they had to supply a list of assets to RBC Europe Limited, a trusty security agent.
However, with dazzling financial creativity they included two properties in Cowes that they neither own or lease. It’s just a wonder they didn’t throw in the Houses of Parliament for good measure. After all, if we’ve learnt anything from Monopoly it’s that owning Mayfair, when you don’t actually own Mayfair is great for raising income.
Of course, when questioned about this embarrassing little hiccup, Red Funnel’s management and shareholders seem to have taken a vow of silence. Or perhaps they’ve introduced a new corporate strategy – “If we say nothing, perhaps nobody will notice”.
It’s strange because Red Funnel are ultimately owned by some completely respectable pension funds – you’d think they might be a little bit embarrassed – but no, they seem fine with it all.
But there’s more! Red Funnel’s cloak-and-dagger act extends to their accounts too. These were due to be lodged with Companies House on Monday, but on Sunday their financial wizards decided to change their year-end by just one day. Just like magic they now have three extra months to figure out how to juggle numbers without dropping any. Let’s hope their money magicians are well paid – after all they have to work weekends!
And speaking of secrets, let’s not leave the Isle of Wight Council out of the picture. A few weeks ago, the IW Observer reported how they’d thrown out our request for minutes of the Transport Infrastructure Board meetings? After we appealed, they’ve now decided to consult ‘third parties’ on what they should release.
It seems our beloved council likes a dramatic pause—they’re certainly keeping us on the edge of their seats. With a timeline that rivals the plot development of watching paint dry, they now say that they hope to deliver the answers by the end of October – after we first asked for the information on August 21. Let’s hope they’re worth waiting for.
A spokesman for the Isle of Wight Council assured us, with complete sincerity, that they are committed to openness and transparency. He explained carefully that sometimes when third parties are involved, the process takes longer. The ferry companies will be among the organisations asked to comment. Perhaps Red Funnel are being as chatty with the council as they are with us.
You’d think the Isle of Wight Council would just send an email giving everyone five days to respond, as many government departments do. But, alas, when it comes to our council and Red Funnel, the usual rules apparently get lost in the sea fog.
Never mind, we can all rest easy knowing that somewhere beneath this magical cloak of secrecy lies the truth—just waiting to be unveiled.
Until then, we suggest keeping a close eye on your neighbours. You never know when they might try to mortgage your house.
