By Mal Butler
A Shanklin woman has opened her heart this week on how she was left to suffer in shame for years after a traumatic childbirth injury which medics failed to spot.
Bethanie Parsons, 28, believes the rushed delivery of her first child at St Mary’s Hospital in 2019, left her with a fourth-degree tear to the anal sphincter.
It is the most severe type of tear, and it occurred when forceps were used in the birth without the doctor waiting for a contraction, which helps push the baby through the birth canal.
Her screams were so loud her mother heard them from the car park.
The consequences were enormous, and have had a lasting effect on her life. The day after the birth, Bethanie began losing bowel control, soiling herself if she didn’t get to the bathroom in time.
She didn’t seek help because she was too embarrassed and didn’t raise it in consequent meetings held to deal with the heavy bleeding she was still suffering weeks after giving birth.
Bethanie, who runs a nail business from home, said: “I remember when I got home that I didn’t have the after care. I didn’t even know this was an issue until nearly two years later when a friend told me.”
Although she was offered surgery, it came with a one-in-five risk of needing a colostomy bag, something she couldn’t contemplate.
Finally, in 2022, she had a trial for a sacral nerve stimulator, a small device implanted under the skin which sends electrical pulses to nerves which control the bowel.
She added: “I thought it was worth a try because it would give me a few extra minutes to make it to the toilet, but it’s not a fix; it only helps my situation.
“The whole thing has affected me mentally and psychically; it’s been so frustrating. By telling my story, I hope I can help other women in my situation.
“There is no real education for young women when they are pregnant; you’re not expecting to be made incontinent like that. My mother-in-law had seven children naturally and she had never seen anything like it.
“When I eventually saw a consultant, she apologised profusely and I’ve been told all the hospital’s policies and procedures have changed and my pregnancy is even a case study. I did think, ‘Why did it have to be me?’
“I looked into compensation but, by the time I got around to it, it was too late. All I ever wanted was an apology from the Trust; I didn’t care about the money, but I have never had anything in writing to me.”
Thankfully Bethanie and her husband, Josh, a plumber, have since had a second baby, delivered by caesarean in 2024.
She said: “I have two healthy children, which is the only saving grace. The hospital was amazing during the birth of my second one, they couldn’t do enough for me. But I should never have been left this way.”
Director of Midwifery, Alison Werfalli said: “We are sorry to Bethanie and her family for her experience in our maternity services; Bethanie’s experience is not the standard of care we strive to provide.
“Safety, dignity, and well-being of women, babies, and their family is our highest priority. We have robust clinical governance, incident review, and escalation processes in place. Where concerns are identified they are thoroughly investigated, and learning is shared to drive continuous improvement in care.”
Isle of Wight Observer