By Isle of Wight Observer
Actor and raconteur, Charles Collingwood, appeared at Shanklin Theatre last week. He plays posh farmer, Brian Aldridge, in ‘The Archers.’ Over 50 years, he’s fooled around with half the women in Ambridge.
I’m an avid Archers fan, as is Queen Camilla. Her Maj’ once appeared in the show, and afterwards, as Brian, Charles wrote to thank her, raffishly concluding, “If you’re ever in the area, pop in and see me at Home Farm, ideally on an afternoon when my wife, Jenny, isn’t around.” Being a good sport, Camilla replied conspiratorially saying, “Thank you, if I do come, I’ll be sure to avoid Jenny.”
Before his terrific show, Charles told me he was RADA trained. Of his intake of 36 students 10 failed to complete the two-year course and only six made a living from acting. My own RADA course lasted just 5 days, but I recall impressing the tutors – who mumbled something about my having “natural ability”. Sadly, the TV extra work I secured didn’t require any speaking. I already knew I had a better face for radio!
It’s been revealed that, in opposition, Keir Starmer was told he was “too wooden, more like the bloke from HR than a potential prime minister”. Keir signed himself up for some ‘in person acting lessons’; unfortunately, he took them during the Covid lockdown. Infamously, Mrs Thatcher had voice coaching too and, afterwards, spoke in a slower more considered style. Undoubtedly this gave her gravitas, but it begs the question – if politicians can act, how do we know when they’re telling us the truth? Are we hearing their sincerely held view or a crafted performance?
I recently heard American ‘Oh Superman’ singer/artist, Laurie Anderson, say that, while at university, she ran for office at the Students’ Union. So she wrote and asked presidential candidate, John F Kennedy, for some advice. Incredibly, JFK responded saying “Find out what people want and promise to give it to them”. JFK was assassinated in 1963, which I think suggests politicians never change.
Remember when we went through a phase here of Tory leadership wannabes standing with their legs slightly apart? Sajid Javid, George Osbourne and Theresa May all tried it. Standing legs akimbo is a technique actors occasionally deploy on stage to make them appear more powerful. The terrible Tory trio just looked more Blackadder than Anthony and Cleopatra. Their preposterous stance implied they believed the electorate are easily fooled.
Tony Blair could definitely put it on and, based on her forced facial expressions, I’m certain Home Secretary, Yvette Cooper, is usually acting too. She’s a polished politician, but I’m never convinced she believes a word she’s saying.
Good old Angela Rayner always used to go off script; now she’s gagged by ‘cabinet responsibility.’ Basically, that means keeping quiet for fear of a return to the backbench wilderness.
So far, Chancellor Rachel Reeves’ performances have attracted rotten tomatoes. When she announced that the new Heathrow runway, last week, left hapless colleague, Ed Miliband, was noticeably absent. The poor bloke was probably hiding in the wings. What else could he do when he’s supposed to be Labour’s spokesman for climate change? Ideally, he doesn’t want new Scottish oilfields either.
The Mayor of London, Sir Sadiq Kahn, isn’t dependent on the PM for his job, so he’s condemned the airport expansion plan.
Sadly, I didn’t hear any politician say that an extra runway would actually reduce pollution. I know that to be true because, on my regular flights to or from Heathrow, after boarding and pushback, I spend 45 minutes queuing for take-off. On my return, we queue again (or ‘stack’ waiting) for an available landing slot. Heathrow is one of the world’s busiest two runway airports. Whatever the current troupe of hopelessly-miscast politicians say, I can’t see that changing anytime soon.