By Isle of Wight Observer
Do you know your FAA from your CAA, your NTSB from your AAIB? If you’re aware of those acronyms, you may know the other FAA, the Facebook Aviation Authority – not to be confused with the official American one that’s responsible for US-based aircraft, airlines and pilots.
Facebook, YouTube, Twitter and online news sites are awash with ‘experts’, often without relevant expertise. On the tube, some of these chancers enjoy millions of hits. They make a decent living from early analysis of aviation incidents.
Formal qualifications are such a bore these days, certainly compared to dressing in a white pilot shirt with epaulets. Those seem almost essential if you’re trying to get views and clicks. These days, in the event of any incident or accident in the UK, the Air Accident Investigation Branch, the AAIB swing into action. In America, it’s the Federal Transportation Safety Board, or FTSB.
Most countries have similar organisations, although ours and Uncle Sam’s are the most respected and often get ‘called in.’
I mention these boring acronyms only because, since the Air India crash, I’ve heard experienced commercial pilots muddle them up – such is our desire to know what went wrong with doomed flight 171. Social media was immediately filled with experts claiming that they knew the cause of the disaster. Spoiler alert, they didn’t, and I don’t have a clue either.
The aviation world is notorious for jargon and acronyms, and so is the police. My old Ma joined the Met in the late 60s and struggled to understand half of what she heard. There are hundreds in use, including the ACC, PACE, PNC, RIPA, PCC, ABH, POCA and ARV.
One day, she answered a call at the station from a policeman’s wife, trying to locate his whereabouts. As she hadn’t a clue, she held the receiver away from her mouth and yelled a general “Does anyone know if Joe Bloggs is on duty?” Awkward faces stared back as she waited to see if those present knew the missing cop’s whereabouts. Lots of slightly sheepish shoe staring ensued, before finally one of his colleagues piped up: “Oh, Joe Bloggs, I think he’s OTS”. Mum repeated exactly that to the woman holding on the line, who appeared entirely content with the answer.
Once the call was completed, mum nervously asked the room, “So, what is OTS?” Those present erupted in fits of laughter, and explained OTS meant “Over the Side”, police jargon for having an affair.
It’s Wednesday now, and all the early Air India crash theories have been debunked. None of the available video is clear enough to offer more than partial clues. Those early theories were incorrect flap settings, accidental retraction of flaps and of course, pilot error.
Some people published videos they had filmed on their TV and the quality is dreadful. There is a later HD video, appearing to show a RAT deployed. The Ram Air Turbine deploys only in the event of total electrical power or dual engine failure. It being visible suggests one or the other thing happened to the doomed aircraft, so the only question now is why?
Thankfully the black boxes were recovered, so, by now, someone will have a fair idea of what went wrong. The rest of us will find out soon enough.
We humans are a funny lot; we all fly and naturally fear crashing. That means we’re very interested when things go spectacularly wrong. The Boeing 787 has carried over a billion people on millions of flights. You are far more likely to die in a garden accident than in a plane crash – but no-one fears tripping over a rake in their garden.
I have a simple theory about why we worry about planes crashing. It looks like a horrible way to go!