By Carole Dennett
When the Isle of Wight called for a serious chat, the government stuffed its fingers in its ears and told us to go away.
Last Friday, the public record promised a half-hour debate about “Government support for cross-Solent ferry transport,” championed by our MP, Bob Seely. By the time the debate started on Tuesday afternoon, it had been renamed “Cross-Solent Ferries”. To seasoned watchers of these shenanigans, it wasn’t hard to see why.
Bob stood up with passion in his heart and fire in his belly – or was it the other way round? He delivered a barn-storming speech. He didn’t just throw his hat in the ring – it was followed by his coat – then the coat rack. “The relationship between the ferry firms and the people of the Isle of Wight is breaking down,” he stormed. “The ferries are a genuine lifeline; we have no choice but to use them. There is no public service obligation. We need to get a better deal.”
Our knight in shining armour listed the problems, then winsomely suggested some solutions. He wanted support for a new ferry firm, an independent regulator, government-funded healthcare trips, and voluntary regulation.
His passion then reached a crescendo with a dramatic announcement that he would be writing to the Competition & Market Authorities to ask how to initiate an inquiry. It was fiery stuff. Anyone with Wi-Fi can Google how to do it – but 10 out of 10 for showmanship.
Enter Easter’s equivalent of the Grinch, the Minister for Rail & HS2, Huw Merriman. He had drawn the short straw to respond to our champion just before the Commons’ three-week Easter break. He was unmoved by Mr Seely’s passion, and disinterested in the problems or the proposals our MP had helpfully laid out. Perhaps his officials had written his speech anticipating questions about Ukraine and hadn’t had time to research “Government support for cross-Solent ferry transport” – although, to be honest, it would have taken them no time at all.
Instead, the best he could do was promise that Mr Seely’s recently released report would be “digested”, although worryingly there was no mention of actually reading it. But that would not happen now. Oh no. That will be only after Mr Seely’s two-month long “consultation” – by which time we will be very close to the summer break before an election, when, conveniently, no one has to answer for anything anymore. It would be churlish to wonder whether that thought was on Mr Seely’s mind when he announced it – so we won’t!
The minister ever so graciously promised that Mr Seely’s questions would receive a “response” – but not actual answers. He then suggested that Islanders, the ferry operators and the council “get around the table” and agree a way forward. Perhaps some jammy dodgers would be welcome at this tea party – that’s the biscuits. by the way, not the ferry company owners with their highly-profitable tax arrangements.
Finally, acknowledging that the services are “not perfect” and saying that another Minister would have a chat with Red Funnel after an “independent review” – one that Red Funnel itself has organised – Huw hopped off like the Easter Rabbit to enjoy his hols.
Unlike the rest of us, after that performance Mr Merriman would probably receive VIP treatment on the ferries in the unlikely event he decides to visit the Isle of Wight over the next few weeks.
But as for the Isle of Wight – with friends like that, who needs enemies?
