By Isle of Wight Observer
“I strongly oppose euthanasia and assisted suicide. I do not believe it is something we should be supporting or welcoming on the Island,” said Bob Seely MP in 2017. I wonder if he feels the same now, and quite why he chose to use the word “welcoming” – you’d have to ask him yourself.
“Welcoming” is not a word I’d select to describe end-of-life suffering. With the Island’s disproportionately elderly population, I think here is the perfect place to debate dignity in dying, calmly and sensibly.
For those with a strong religious faith it’s a contentious issue – but anyone who ever saw their family pet suffering knows that the kindest thing to do is ask the vet to put an end to it as quickly as possible. In our family, that’s exactly what has happened to most of the wonderful animals that were a big part of our lives. Every single time those final days and hours were heart-breaking.
Sadly, I’ve also witnessed the slow and painful deaths of close family and friends. Presently, I have a housebound pal living on oxygen. He knows his days are numbered and fears what’s to come. In December, another friend lost his battle with Parkinson’s.
Had he been able to, I’m certain he would have chosen to go sooner than he did. His health had seriously deteriorated since the original diagnosis, and eventually, the drugs didn’t work. He’d become totally immobile and looked dreadful; he couldn’t communicate and was doubly incontinent. As a younger man, he’d been the coolest of cool dudes. Women were spellbound by his considerable charm. I envied the twinkle in his amazing blue eyes! While still able to function and communicate normally, I know he would certainly have chosen to die before his body finally gave out. In those final months, his family and a team of amazing carers were dedicated to looking after him, but he was humiliated.
Regardless of your specific illness, there is only one way to die – your heart must stop beating. When my Gran was terminally ill with lung cancer, I visited her in the hospice. Her breathing became laboured, and she told me the consultant had informed her that very morning that she had a “strong heart”. Gran believed this was a positive; I knew it would only prolong her suffering.
However ill she was, however, frail she became, unless and until her heart stopped, there could be no peaceful conclusion. The hospice team were incredible, but when you see someone struggling to breathe, you’ll see panic in their eyes.
Rightly, there are strict laws to prevent animal cruelty, so why not humans? An assisted dying law wouldn’t result in more people dying, but in fewer people suffering. I refuse to believe a merciful God wouldn’t agree.
Esther Rantzen has chosen to spend her final time on earth campaigning on the issue. One hundred thousand people signed her petition for parliament to debate it. Esther is intelligent and sensible, she doesn’t fear death, but does fear suffering. She says: “It’s our life, it should be our choice.”
Woody Allen once quipped, ‘I’m not afraid of dying, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.’ I think that makes perfect sense. Our general attitude to death and dying seems all wrong. At a certain age, most of us realise the inevitability of it. Some choose not to dwell on it, perhaps because we all fear loss, but dying is an absolute certainty; we just don’t know when or where it’ll happen.
Controlling every aspect of our lives is praiseworthy, education, career, partnerships, where we live, even to have a family are choices we can make. If we get sick, why shouldn’t we choose the manner and moment of our passing?
