By Press Release
Have no regrets
Do you ever wonder what you’ve already done for the last time? My adorable granddaughter, Audrey, just turned one, right from the beginning she loved falling asleep on me, her little head resting on my shoulder. I have precious photographs of her doing it, that little piece of magic was our special thing, and made me happier than almost anything else I can think of. Sadly, just one year on, she doesn’t do it anymore. True, we created a special bond and a great memory, but it won’t happen again because she’s already too big! When my own children were small, I often carried them around, sometimes two at a time. At the time, those days seemed exhausting, but all too soon, they had passed. One day I realised they no longer wanted me to lift them up, nor hold them on my hip or shoulders. Even worse, they virtually stopped needing Dad’s constant comfort and cuddles, they’d become independent. I don’t specifically remember the last time I lowered each of them into bed for the last time, but without my knowing it, it happened, just as it did for you.
I always hugged my Dad when we parted, and recently, because I knew he was dying, I got to hug him one last time knowing that this would be the last. I held him, as tightly as I’d ever done, but I couldn’t accept that this was it, surely it couldn’t really be the last time. As I hugged him, I decided to lower him gently back onto his hospital bed, just for the comfort of lifting and holding him one very last time. I bear-hugged his warm body for ages until I was OK with letting him gently go, and then I did.
Not every memory we create is that momentous; before the pandemic, I flew on a Boeing 747 for the last time without realising it. Happily, I was seated upstairs, immediately behind the flight deck. As the crew prepared to fly us back to London, they spotted my childlike curiosity and invited me in, even allowing me to sit in the captain’s chair! Since the early 70s I loved the jumbo and even worked at Heathrow, for Pan Am, which had the world’s largest fleet of 747s. My job involved driving a liveried van, proudly wearing my cool Pan Am uniform, taking animals to departing aircraft. Often, they were nervous dogs, who would travel in the hold. They were always accompanied by their affluent owners, who flew above them, in far greater comfort. Pan Am had some freight-only planes too, and when they were completely empty, the crew had to climb a precarious ladder up to the cockpit. Unlike the passenger variants, they didn’t have a fixed staircase – because it would have obstructed the cargo containers. Those giant aircraft had a maximum take-off weight of 400 tons; it always seemed astonishing to me that they ever got off the ground. Sitting up front on my final 747 from America, I had no idea it would be my last trip ever, but the lovely crew made it one of the most memorable. When the airlines virtually stopped flying, British Airways scrapped their 747 fleet; they no longer exist.
None of us can treat every day as if it were our last, mostly because our loved ones would soon get fed up with us being over-emotional every time we pop to the shops, but as we get older, it is something we should keep in mind.
Sadly, losing someone you love can occur without warning, so have that hug, leave no doubt about how you feel, have no regrets.
