By Isle of Wight Observer
For the love of all that’s holy, when will everyone stop moaning about the b***** weather?
It’s Saturday afternoon, and along with thousands of others, I should be outside, enjoying the Chale show. Instead, I’m sitting at my PC, hoping to go along tomorrow. It’s the third horrible wet, windy weekend in a row, and I really feel for the organizers. I also pity skint parents, because, when it rains, you can’t send your little darlings off to the beach. No parent wants their kids kicking around the house over the long summer holidays, and, as we know, the alternatives can be expensive.
That said, I don’t remember people moaning quite this much about the cost of everything before, particularly summer entertainment. When we were kids, the outdoors was our playground. Mum and Dad didn’t have social media to express their frustrations either. The recent New Forest show cost £27 to get in, and that was value for money. At Chale, the gate price was half that much, but naturally, keyboard warriors swung into action, complaining that was excessive. One woman even said it was ‘disgusting!’ I’m sorry, but you picked the wrong word there my dear; ‘disgusting’ is when a dog defecates on your path, and you trail it through the house. It doesn’t describe the admission price to a fabulous charity event that you’re not forced to attend.
I paid £200 to see Bruce Springsteen in London and loved every minute of it. Family shows like the County, Chale or Garlic don’t just happen. An army of willing (and more often unwilling – Ed) volunteers are required. These poor souls are engaged months beforehand in the preparation. Laura and Madeleine, who do much of the Garlic Festival heavy lifting, start in February each year.
First up, the dreaded licence application. It’s an extensive document, concerning itself with all manner of things, some you would, and some wouldn’t think of. Despite the Garlic show having run for 40 years, with Laura having done 15 of those, this year she was required to re-do the fire risk assessment. I know, don’t laugh, the way things are, I think there’s probably more chance of the visitors drowning in mud, but them’s the rules!
Hours of research and work went into it, describing in forensic detail everything we’ve been doing safely for years. Outdoor shows need a fire safety officer, to inspect the traders, marquees and stages in advance. Fire extinguishers, petrol containers, electrical leads and connections must all be carefully examined. Despite these outdoor shows taking place in open fields, huge green ‘running man’ signs are required at all exits, as if they were held indoors. Clearly, bureaucrats don’t trust humans to run away from danger; they must be nannied.
All of this costs time and money, as does everything else you’re required to do. I can’t speak for Chale, but typically up to £20,000 will be spent on marquees. £10,000 on generators, fuel, fencing and other site stuff. £5-7,000 on those plastic toilets we all love, and similar sums for stage and sound systems. Then there’s insurance and security cover. At the Garlic Festival, we used to spend £10,000 on traffic management and car parking, around £1 for every ticket sold! Arena, band and stage entertainers need paying too.
Traders and sponsors help with around 25 per cent of the costs, but the majority of the money comes from visitors. Seriously, every year I wonder if this might be the last; we’ll see of these big traditional summer shows. The wet weather doesn’t help, so I know I’ll be right eventually.
Get out there and enjoy them while you can. Oh, and try not to moan about the entry price – or the weather!