By Isle of Wight Observer
Do you ever find yourself upstairs, wondering what it was you went up for? When going for groceries, do you need a detailed shopping list? In the car, do you find yourself slowing down, for no apparent reason? If you do, perhaps you’re considering voting Conservative at the forthcoming election.
Other than people with poor memories and the permanently bewildered, I struggle to think of anyone who’ll vote Tory this time – and I’m a natural supporter. Over 14 years, they’ve been responsible for a series of failures, disasters and calamities, including Brexit. Can you name a single public service that improved under Cameron, May, Johnson, Truss or Sunak? Everyone struggles to see a GP now, and when we do, we join 7½ million others on waiting lists. NHS dentistry has disappeared. The Island’s school results remain the worst in the country.
The Tories claim, they’ll build 200,000 new homes this year. Net migration is around 700,000, so even if they meet their target, half a million people are moving here without anywhere to live. Similar numbers came last year.
The Tories wasted billions before cancelling HS2, and Britain’s potholed roads are dreadful. They love privatising things, so handed the Island’s highways to Vinci-Meridiem, an offshore-based company. ‘Smart motorways’ were the magical solution to congestion, so billions were wasted, removing hard shoulders. With nowhere to go, when people broke down, some were struck from behind and killed. The technology that was supposed to save them didn’t work!
During this parliament, one Tory MP was paid a fortune by a drug company for lobbying on their behalf. Bad Boris foolishly tried to save him, sparking crossbench outrage. During the pandemic, buxom Baroness Mone took tens of millions from the taxpayer, supplying faulty PPE. She admitted lying about her involvement in the scheme, but have you spotted her in a courtroom? Millions were stolen in fake bounceback loans and furlough fraud the Tories couldn’t be bothered to investigate. The police no longer come when called, and the entire court system has virtually ground to a halt. Britain’s prisons are so full, arresting people is pointless.
Last week, soggy Sunak said, “We’ve got inflation down.” But when it shot up, he blamed the pandemic and Russia invading Ukraine. You can’t have it both ways, can you?
Mortgage rates have tripled, and council tax goes up by 5 per cent every year. Income taxes are at record levels. Half the banks and post offices closed down, and then there’s Rwanda. “Fifteen other countries want to do it” claims Rishi, before admitting no-one will be going anywhere until after polling day. His “stop the boats” pledge became embarrassing. Does anyone seriously believe there are jets standing-by at Heathrow, ready for Rishi’s repatriations? The new youth Dad’s army plan is idiotic, arguably funnier than Captain Mainwaring and Private Pike’s finest on-screen moments!
Here, beleaguered Bob Seely, voted to allow Britain’s water companies to spew raw sewage into the sea for years to come. Now it’s official; popular Island beaches are the most contaminated in the Southern Water area. What a wonderful legacy, Bob!
Unsurprisingly, with such a woeful record, the ‘half a sausage’ lawbreaker is running around frantically trying to avoid collecting his P45. Until a few months ago, it seemed Bob’s obsession was very obviously China, Russia, Ukraine and his non-existent parliamentary career. I wondered if I could find any evidence. The word cloud above shows how often Bob has said certain words in the House of Commons since he was elected in 2017. Yes, in seven years he’s mentioned dentists six times, TikTok seven, and Xinjiang nine! Try it yourself at iw.observer/hansard-search.
Democracy is wonderful, so if you’ve forgotten the Conservatives’ awful record, please try and remember like leopards, hopeless politicians never change their spots.