By Press Release
Lucky me, I’ll be hanging out at the incredible IW festival in the coming days. Last weekend, the Conservatives provided my amusement. Tory members want tax cuts, controlled immigration, family values, and policies supporting small business. They also want better public services, lower inflation and less wokeism. It shouldn’t be too hard, should it?
With Brexit still a mess, some members say if this is the best they can do, Labour or the Lib Dems may as well run the country. Party members didn’t even choose Sunak. Liz Truss got their votes. Dapper Rishi seems businesslike, but Tory members saw the ambitious backstabber, whose resignation finished Boris’s premiership. Now their bitter battles are clear for all to see, and it’s clear the “nasty party” hasn’t changed since removing Maggie. She was a winner too, but they were merciless.
Boris quietly met Rishi last week; later, Boris’s camp claimed several things were agreed – which Rishi denied. Replying to those accusations, the little guy snapped back with, “If you don’t like it, tough.” Ooh, get you!
Harriet Harman’s kangaroo court (with its Tory majority) also gave Boris a good slap, and understandably that left him fuming and he decided to quit. Rishi must’ve been thrilled with that news, because, as long as Boris remained an MP, a comeback was technically possible, and now it isn’t. Wanting his say on all this, was our very own lockdown party boy, Bob Seely. He popped up on TV again, presumably because he’s available 24/7 and doesn’t like to feel left out.
On Thursday night, he wanted Boris to still be PM. Just 24 hours later, he returned to our screens saying, “If you know people are out to get you, don’t give them the tools to do the job.” What on earth did he mean? Surely that Seaview soiree hadn’t slipped his mind once again? We all remember the lame excuses, “It was only half a sausage and a glass of wine” – but that was still illegal, wasn’t it? Most of us would recall committing a criminal offence with some London chums and our partner, even if we’d got away with it.
Boris “walked into this” crowed Bob, “He brought it on himself”. Such loyalty, eh? Perhaps after being abandoned on the backbenches for years, Bob seeks a little revenge. But not one party leader has wanted him anywhere near the levers of power. Bob remains one of only a handful of Tory MP’s who’ve been completely overlooked. It set me thinking. Does he just continually back the wrong horse, or do they know something we don’t?
I suspect Bob’s just a bit dim, but can I fantasise that there’s a darker reason, a skeleton in his cupboard? If there were a skeleton, or even a poorly focussed picture of one, would it be terribly wrong of me to hope that it tumbles out at the most inopportune moment – perhaps during the election campaign? Politics is a dirty business, and the truth will usually out.
Bob now says, “Boris was great, but we’ve all moved on since his spectacular election victory.” Honestly, with friends like Bob, who needs enemies! Surely, he hasn’t forgotten that thousands of the votes here last time were Boris’s ‘Get Brexit done’ votes, not Bob’s?
At the previous election, Islanders’ knew exactly what they needed to do, and they voted UKIP in huge numbers. In Bob’s shoes, I’d be very nervous now, because every aspect of our lives has got a lot worse under the Tories; even the party faithful lack enthusiasm.
Labour hasn’t sealed any deal, but perhaps, come polling day, the Island will have two new MPs, and Bob will be back in London, jobless.